How to impress …

How to impress a woman, Compliment her, Cuddle her, Kiss her, Caress her, Love her, Stroke her, Tease her, Comfort her, Protect her, Hug her, Hold her, Spend money on her, Wine & Dine her, Buy things for her, Listen to her, Care for her, Stand by her, Support her, Go to the ends of the earth for her. How to impress a man, Show up naked & bring beer.

Hehe so true… But worth it when you have the right girl

Living with Women (Part 2)

Since there is no possible way I can manage to fit everything that I learned from 9 months of living with 13 women into one post, I thought I’d pitch in a few more….

As a male, the word ‘plan’ is quite difficult for us to understand, we wake up when we want and do what we want, without prior thought. But I realized only into my first week that these girls run on self-made schedules that kept them occupied doing things I would never imagine doing.

For instance, in the life of a male a Saturday morning doesn’t exist…because its in our genes to either a.) get home late from the club and pass out or b.) sleep right through it… thus we never experience it.

Not these ladies…they’re going out for runs at 9 or 10am, fully equipped with tights and the latest footwear, and often I’d walk into them…coming home from the club.

We have a chat and talk about their plans for the day; then they ask how my night was and what I planned on doing. Since I’m running on all sorts of chemicals, I refrain from the graphic details of my naughty night and give the basics, such as “It was fucking amazing” and “I’ll see you when I wake up.”

The plans didn’t stop there however… I would often walk into the kitchen and see decorations going up, seeing balloons and glitter I would give them a funny look and ask what’s going on. “Oh it’s Mexican night we told you about if a few days ago…. But we’re pretty sure you were high.”

I probably was… but before I met these girls I never had a plan…I had just finished a Eurotrip, going without a second thought for which city I was travelling to the next day.  Yes!!! Freedom!!! If I woke up and felt like going to Madrid then that’s where I was gonna’ fuckin’ be that evening.

But eventually their plans got to me…. yes, they infected me…. But it’s a good infection, because if they didn’t barrage me with all their plans, I would have never thought about checking for work in Barcelona and then coming down here to evaluate the environment, considering the crisis and all.

I would’ve probably stayed somewhere in cloudy ol’ England and wouldn’t have the amazing job I have now with Stoke Travel. So plans are valuable…but you still will never see me awake before noon on a Saturday though.

Fuck… that….

Living with Women

After living with 13 women during my studies in London, I realized that there is a hell of a lot more to girls than I could have imagined before these past 9 months.

Since I lived with heavy drinking men during my time in Barcelona…it was a completely different experience for my liver, as well as my lifestyle.

Late nights partying and hooking up with random hotties switched over to playing Doctor Phil for a seemingly never ending list of problems, plus I’m one of 2 guys they actually talk to, so it’s not like I can avoid the situation.

I knew women were far more emotional than men…but damn I didn’t know possessing so many feelings and encountering so many mood swings on a daily basis were possible.

Ranging from the Catholic girl to the party animal and everything in between, everyday seemed like a psychological challenge…going into the kitchen to grab a beer was no easy task…shit was likely to go down.

What I learned most was that women over-think and over-complicate things on a regular basis…one even stated an SMS of 3 words can be analyzed by 3+ women for an hour….. I didn’t think it were possible, so I tested that statement.

One day a girl had recently met some guy (there’s a new one every week), once he sent her an SMS they went to work. In the meantime, I ate some cereal, studied a bit, had a workout session, smoked a joint and watched some South Park…. Going to grab a beer I realize they were still there… and only on the second SMS.

Damn, now every time I send a girl a text I’m wondering what the hell is gonna go through her mind after she reads it.

Not only that but a basic conversation with them can range from vibrators and sex shows to politics and solving the economic crisis. In time, my selective hearing would reel me back into the conversation, but hell… I missed the conversations about football, music and girls.

Which brings me to how women overcomplicate men….

WE ARE SIMPLE!!! Your average male likes theses things: beer, fast food, sports, hanging with the guys, blowjobs and personally weed. As long as your husband/boyfriend gets a balanced diet of the aforementioned, he will be happy 🙂

When we send an SMS we don’t bother putting any hidden messages, what you read is what you get.  Anything else is too much effort.

But… if women didn’t make plans, analyze everything, and just be plain sweet then, who will instead? Not us guys, the deeds they do often go unnoticed and unrewarded, which is sad, because women deserve recognition.

Sure it can seem like girls nag and nag but really all they want is someone to talk to, insecurity is something a lot of them are trying to avoid… and a simple conversation with them will ease their mind of a million questions such as whether “she’s ugly… or strange” and put you in good favour with them.

So whenever I meet a girl outside the house, I apply what I’ve learned from my house-ladies over the past year…it’s just the logical thing to do if you want a proper girlfriend.